Tuesday, December 03, 2002

 

Evening all! I just wanted to take a moment and say thank you to everyone who has linked to me/emailed me about this site/left a tag or comment. It really does mean a lot!

I had a conversation this evening with a non-blogger about why I blog. I tried to explain to him why I blog, and I had more trouble than I though I would. I originally started my first blog (still hosted on blogger, but not currently maintained - it originally had a cooler template before the blogger hack, when my template file disappeared) for purely academic purposes. I had troubles publishing to that one, so I started this one - again, ostensibly for academic reasons, but this blog has become more, much more, than I expected. I blog for interaction, I blog for me, for my readers, for procrastination, for self-expression, for so many other reasons (hey Clancy, want to know why I blog? I think I just summed most of it up there! ;) ).

For so long, I knew that no one read my blog but me, but that has changed lately. Somewhere in the last two months or so, I gained readers. It is both gratifying and nerve-wracking to know that people read what I write. Kara asked me to start pinging weblogs.com so she knew when I update - really cool (thanks, Kara!) but, again, a little disconcerting. Even though this blog started out as an academic project, it has really become a place for me to spout off about things academic and personal in a non-academic voice. Who wants to read my rambling and rants? I tried to get distant friends into reading my blog, but so far, I have struck out! They were the only ones I could think of that might be interested in my content.

Even though I am getting a Ph.D and am perfectly capable of writing incomprehensible, theoretical, dense prose (want proof? go to my cyberculture site and read the papers posted there - but PLEASE!!! if you want to use any of this anywhere, let me know - I am still working on this stuff, and in the IP/copyright-happy world we [academics/aspiring academics] live in, my ideas are my capital and my future), this site is a place for me to say things like, "meh. whatever," or "awesome! that rocked!" and not feel guilty about being lowbrow, sounding uneducated, or whatever.

Anyway, I guess that part of the reason I had a hard time justifying "why I blog" is also related to my reaction when I found out that someone gave me a ranking of one on bloghop.com: my blog is strongly linked to my identity, It is uncomfortable (but not necessarily bad) when someone questions or critiques my identity. And now I could go on to a whole post about identity politics, women and indentity, and so forth, but I don't feel like it. And since this is my blog, my space, my online home, in many ways, I just won't go there! I don't have to justify what I put here - it's like my typo post - what's here is here, deal. If you like it, I am happy. If you don't, well, to some extent, I feel bad, but really, this is my space, and if you don't like what I say, then too bad.

Ok, I have degenerated into completete rant. Sorry. This started out as a thank-you, and I'd like to end it on the same note: it is so cool that people like what I write, what I have to say. I have a bit of an inferiority complex in general, so even though I may rant, I really do appreciate the feedback here.

- posted by laurie @ 12/03/2002 07:35:00 PM
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