Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Oh, the things you find [out] when you clean

(written last night, but I forgot to post it - whoops!)
We're in the final stages of cleaning for the parental visit. Tonight, while tucking away a few more things in the den, I found a green composition book with yellowed pages. Scrawled on a handful of these pages were some journal entries, and a few poems. I couldn't resist pausing for a moment (though I have way more stuff to do right now than I want to think about). A brief check of the entries told me that they were all written at a very, very transitional point of my young life: Winter Vacation 1995/96. I was 19, was on the way to visit friends and family in CA, where I had lived six months previous to the trip, I had recently broken up with a boy I'd really liked, and I was in the process of transferring between community college and University of Maryland.

There's some bad love poetry in there, details of a plane trip from the deepest depths of hell (complete with rescheduled flight times and nightmarish layovers), and a few "we went here, these people were there, it was cool" kind of entries. Perhaps most interesting, though, is the entry describing the afternoon I got my fourth, and largest, tattoo: an angel on my left shoulder. There are little things in that entry I had totally forgotten: how important it was that the angel not be blond, the price negotiations that went on, the level of pain that comes only after sitting for three hours getting tattooed (and the rush that goes along with that, as well).

Wow, was I angsty. Simultaneously insecure and arrogant. You know, I think I was a pretty cool person at 19, even if I was totally confused (and utterly unaware of the direction my life would eventually take). At the same time, I am ever so glad to be over and done with that period of my life. I don't think there is anything that anyone could do to make me return to that time.

- posted by laurie @ 10/07/2003 06:50:00 AM
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